Freaktique Roadshow

For my first installment of Freakshow Friday, I am proud to present - Freaktique Roadshow!!! When I saw this driving down the street Wednesday night, I wasn't really sure what I was even looking at. The first thing that caught my attention was what turned out to be a horse's ass sticking out of the would-be ass area of the car. When we pulled up behind it at a stoplight, I initially thought the horse's ass was some kind of skull with a ponytail coming out of the top, wrapped in pink sequined material. It wasn't until further inspection that I realized the horsey reality. As my eyes moved upward and I took in the rest of the madness, my overall impression was that the car was straight out of Escape from New York. When the light changed, I knew I had to pull along side and see who in theee hell was driving this shit.

It got even freakier as I pulled to the right side of the vehicle and realized it wasn't a truck, as I had originally intuited, but a wagon-ish type thing with a structure built up on the top of it adorned with random cheap-ass crap. Trophies, Barbie cars (with Barbie driving them!), stuffed animals...oh my! And pinstriped with Benjamin Franklins. The driver? An old man.

I was so ....awestruck, I really had no choice but to pull out the cell phone camera. But, alas, it was too dark and my celly doesn't have a flash. Clearly, the only rational thing to do was to follow him until he pulled in somewhere. I longed for him to pull into a lit parking lot and not the front of a house. And sure enough, he did. He pulled up right in front of the local Dollar Tree. I waited for him to go inside and jumped out to take these quick photos just for ya'll. Because, honestly, I don't think you can really understand the freakishness without photographic documentation.

Behold...

In the above picture unfortunately you can't really see the horse's ass which Ioriginally thought was a skull, but you can faintly make out the sequins. Notice Jesus Christ Superstar (or is it Hulk Hogan) with arms outstretched. Is the cheap-ass armor plating in preparation for Armageddon?


In this picture, we see the horse's head adorned with a tiara and hip yellow sunglasses. There also appears to be false headlights or eyes affixed to the armored plating. I'm wondering if this is akin to some insects having false eyes to throw off predators.


The driver's side of the car features the red Barbie Volkswagen and a Rottweiler on Duty. Here you can see the built up structure atop the car. And don't forget the Dolla Dolla Bills Ya'll!!!

And lastly, on the passenger side, we can clearly see, it's all about the Benjamins. It's not crystal clear in this photo, but there appear to be Angels on Board at the front of the vehicle. And this side features the Bubblegum Pink version of Barbie's favorite VW. Oh, and check the Ming Dynasty vases with the lovely Christmas pointsettias on either side of the rear along with twin flags to show that he is proud to be an American where freaks are free to fly their flags high!